5.23.2018

It was the day after Sydney had taken her own life. We were all in a broken place because the girl we had all seen as perfect had fallen. I had razor burn on my legs and probably on my heart as well because the world is rough on tender girls like me. You in your sweater and me in my dress. You reached back and grabbed my hand. That was the first time I had felt your gentle strength in months. When I followed you into the room, you turned and said, "Gosh, you're beautiful." I laughed and said, "You're an idiot." because you're good with your words and your charm can stop hearts. You gently grabbed my face and said, "What if I kissed you?" I laughed and pushed you away because that's what I do. "I'm just confused," you said. "Good," I said, "Because I've been confused for a while." You pulled me in and kissed my cheek. "I owed you." I owed you so much more. "What if I kissed you?" That what if? Still echoes in my ears.

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